I’d planned on ranting about how a note home to parents in my oldest son’s backpack had grammatical errors in it and how I actually got out a pen and corrected it. But instead I’ll talk about something you might be interested in.
Much has been made about the “respectability” of the romance genre from many angles.
I’ve been puzzling over this for a bit now because I find the perspective of genre bashing incomprehensible and yet fascinating.
Romance has problems with respectability for a host of reasons. For me, chief among them is that romance is a predominantly woman fueled genre. We write it, we read it and we edit and sell it. (not that men don’t read and write it, they do, but they’re not the majority here) Our fantasies and thoughts are always demeaned as less important than those literary pursuits of men. This is not new.
Romance is viewed as silly. And you know what? A lot of it is. And who cares? Seriously. Like I need to make excuses because I want a little fluff after listening to my kids snipe at each other all day? Like it’s a crime to want something you don’t have to work too hard on at the end of a day? And you don’t think there’s fluff written for men? Come on! So he’s a detective instead of a bakery owner – and? Like the presence of a penis and a typewriter makes him more respectable? A small percentage of books that are written are important in the sense that they change the world. I like to read those too. But they’re not the only thing I want to read.
Women’s fantasies are often maligned. Should I feel bad that I write something that gives my readers a happy ending? A hero who wants to share the heroine’s troubles and doesn’t leave his beard hairs in the sink? If I’m supposed to, too bad. Because I don’t. My romance novels are supposed to be entertaining. Yes, I do hope to make people think, my books often contain larger social issues in some form, but escapism is important too.
Narrowing down another level – erotic romance is often given a beat down as ONOES the end of the world!
Women’s sexual fantasies are co-opted and dismissed. Co-opted and twisted by a lot of sexually graphic material and aimed at men. And you know, I’m not dissing men, I love men and I live with three of them (okay, not like THAT, that’s a great idea for a book though!). But most sexual material is created for men. So the women are often props instead of participants and very rarely the focus.
But erotic romance puts the spotlight on the woman and her fantasies. It celebrates the sexually independent woman who isn’t afraid of pleasure. That is threatening on many levels. In romantica, she’s the center of the action.
So of course it’s maligned and dismissed. It’s the “achilles heel” of romance, it’s the end of the genre, it’s porn, it’s dragging down the respectability of the genre (which we’ve established already has a problem with being taken seriously so it’s not a valid argument anyway). The worst thing for me is when other female romance authors make these arguments because they always strike me as specious and defensive and hostile.
We in romance are like the Mary Kay ladies. People love to make fun of the Mary Kay ladies but hello, the Mary Kay corp makes a hella big profit every year. People may make fun of romance but we dominate the market, someone’s buying our books.
So you know, I’ll take the letters I get from my readers over respectability. That’s just me. I’m a smart woman with lots of letters behind my name and I love to read and write romance. I’m not going to apologize for either and neither should anyone else. Regencies, Greek Tycoons, erotic romance, contemps about NASCAR – I don’t care, sod respectability, let’s just enjoy what we do. And really? I vote we ignore the noise from those who are so insecure they can only build themselves up by tearing other people down.
Lauren Dane
www.laurendane.com
Reading Between the Lines – Now Available!
Well said, Lauren!
It’s only recently that I’ve come out of the closet, so to speak. Before, I’d quietly tell people I was a romance writer, and wait for the derogatory comments. Now I hold my head up high, and announce to the world I write erotic romance. (LOL, well to the whole world except for my in-laws.)
My best part about telling people: Their response – ranging from a “poor you” nod of the head to an emphatic “that is so cool, where can I buy your book.”
I am an erotic romance writer – and reader – and proud of it!
Jess
Great post, Lauren.
I will never forget what happened to me once in a writers group I used to belong to. I read the opening chapter of my WIP (what is now “Wildish Things”) and when I was done, a woman across the table from me opined, “Why do these romance novels always have to start off with an orgasm?” (It didn’t, clearly she hadn’t been listening and had already formed an opinion before I started reading.)
I leaned forward and asked, “What do you have against orgasms?”
That, and the ensuing laughter from the rest of the group, shut her up pretty quick.
The club president (who has since passed away, bless her sweet soul) proceded to go on to lay out the rule that no member will ever make disparaging remarks about genre in which any other member chose to write.
I love this post!
When I told some friends and family that my first book Warrior Woman was a Romance Fantasy, I could literally see their eyes glaze over.
Fortunately most of my friends and family are very supportive, but it is still frustrating to receive some of those types of responses/reactions.
I’m proud of my book. I worked very hard, and I enjoyed doing it.
Great post. I’m half in/half out of the closet. I have many relatives who dismiss romance novels in general, and the rest would certainly look down on erotic romance. So I can never really celebrate what I do with the family. The best I can do is say I write “really racy romances” and leave it at that. I don’t share my pseudonym and don’t want them to visit my web site. I know my relatives too well. It’s a bit sad, but what can you do. They believe what they believe and I do what I want to do—write romance.
Jess – My immediate family is very supportive. My husband pimps my books everywhere, my mom stalks people in the bookstore holding my books up and saying, “this is a good book, my daughter wrote it!”
Carolan – Bwahahaha! That rocks. I’m glad you had such a supportive chapter!
Lyn – yay for you! You should be proud.
Bonnie – other than my parents and other close family members, I do say “spicy romance” and leave it at that unless people ask for more info. My sister-in-law is great – she said, “hmm, well, I don’t think it’s for me, but I bought it anyway, because you wrote it.” which is so supportive and wonderful. I have heard, “when are you going to write a “real” book” which has ceased to bug me at this point.
Well said Lauren. I completely agree.
I try to have patience with book snobs but I’m not always successful.
I just don’t get the need to dismiss female sexuality. I often wonder if it’s a threat thing.
What a great post, Lauren.
“Regencies, Greek Tycoons, erotic romance, contemps about NASCAR – I don’t care, sod respectability, let’s just enjoy what we do. And really? I vote we ignore the noise from those who are so insecure they can only build themselves up by tearing other people down.”
Wise words.
~Margo
LD-Great post. Category Romance is belittled as being too predictable. What about category mystery, which is usually written by men?
Most of these books and movies end in one of two ways. The hero’s love interest is either murdered by the villain or turns out to BE the villain. On occasion we get both endings and she turns out to be the villain then kills herself. Is that not predictable? Not surprising, as it leaves the hero free to go out and “solve another mystery”(>>>) lol, but it is predictable.
As to the question of “Are you going to write a real book?” Answer, “I don’t know, are you?” That shuts ‘em up!
Nixie, who is giving you the old elbow nudge >>>
Nixie – LOL, don’t confuse people with facts!
Margo – Thank you.
Taylor – I don’t know either, if you figure it out, let me know, LOL.
I got tickled at your wanting to edit the note from school. Last year the head of my son’s high school sent out a letter informing parents that they would be cracking down on “students who ran rampart through the school.”
It would have been funny if it wasn’t so seriously sad.
Love it, Lauren! I think you’re right. I get such a laugh out of guys who insist romances are just fluff with sex. I never miss an opportunity for a snappy combat anymore because I really don’t give a [insert your own expletive] about their opinions. My husband loves to watch what happens when he tells people— everyone— I’m, a romance writer.
Sometimes, when they go on and on about all the sex in romances, I try to look bimbo-ish and say, “Really? I must not be buying the right ones. Where do you get yours?”
Then there was the guy on the plane reading a mystery who asked me why I read “that stuff.” I pointed to his book and asked him why he read “that stuff”. He said, “They have great plots.” I said, “Bingo. And not only that, in my books, the heroine always wins.”
Or my all time favorite: “Women like sex too. Get over it.”
Great points!!
I love romance novels, but that’s not all I read. I like any book that’s got a relationship in it. But I don’t want to go through the whole freakin book, hoping these two people make it, then, in the last 10 pages, have hero or heroine die or just leave. (gag)
Oh, and that ‘real book’ question always irks me too. I just say, when they stop payin’ me to write these fake ones, I guess. winks