As a romance author, I know readers live for that moment when the hero and heroine become intimate for the first time. Hopefully, if we’re doing our jobs right, the tension is unbearable before the big bang—even if that moment is at the beginning of the story.
But if we’re writing the nitty gritty details about down and dirty, burn up the sheets, can’t get enough of it sex, can’t we also write a scene that isn’t…sexy? If a good sex scene moves the plot, the characterization, and provides titillation, wouldn’t a bad, or uncomfortable sex scene, provide the same opportunity for the author? Sexual abuse issues aside, if the hero or heroine has less than stellar sexual experiences, wouldn’t that be a catalyst for change?
Or is it all about the hot fantasy? Sex is perfect every time?
I’ll admit I’ve utilized the not-so-perfect sex scenes in a couple of books for that very reason: to visually provide a reason for a character to change. Yeah, I’ve taken some hits on it, but I won’t apologize because it served the purpose. I didn’t write the scene to be rebellious, but to show that characters get into situations they thought they wanted, like a menage, and have a “what was I thinking” moment of clarity. Maybe the heroine realizes she needs only the hero to satisfy her. Maybe the hero finally understands the difference between sex and love. Maybe the characters realize three isn’t a crowd.
What about you? Do you think it’s necessary for all sex scenes to be sexy?
Lorelei James~
www.loreleijames.com
As long as it drives the story I think it is fine. Sex doesn’t always have to be sexy. I think it makes the characters in the story more real to tell you the truth. Sometimes it might even give me a chuckle while reading if things go wrong. I say this all the time…but it really is all about the author. If the author knows what they are doing unsexy sex is just dandy.
Perfect is for fairytales
It’s great when sex is sexy too but let’s face it in real life sex isnt always sexy. You deliver a perfect mix everytime Lorelei!
As long as the sex scene furthers the relationship or the growth of the characters in some way, I think that less than perfect sex can be as powerful as great sex.
If it fits the storyline, then I say use it if you want to. It’s a very brave thing for a romance writer to do, but it has the possibility to have even greater rewards in the end.
My friends and I were talking about this today. About how in romance and erotica sex is always perfect, sexy, and amazing lol We know that’s not real life. Sure I read to get away from the world, but I think it’s ok to show that sex isn’t all that all the time. As a reader, sometimes all the perfect sex gets annoying.
I read for enjoyment, and to some extent, I like the “sexy” sex for that reason, because it is so much better than “real life”. Face it, although some people have amazing realationships in real life, many of us don’t or aren’t right now, and a girls gotta have dreams you know. That aside, some reality is not bad, although I would not want to read depressing.or boring all the time just because it is “real”. After all, I can live boring and depressing, why would I want to read about it..
Jambrea – funny sex is hard to pull off – in more ways than one~ especially if one is not trying to be funny.
Aw, thanks so much Joy for the compliment
NJ – I agree that it has to fit the storyline – just like good sex should…and I think all authors should take a chance but sometimes that chance backfires unintentionally!
Yeah, Ashley, the continual simultaneous orgasms can get annoying, which is why I try to mix it up.
Jeanine – your argument is precisely the reason I don’t read literary fiction – the downtrodden stories. If I want to be depressed, I’ll read the news. I think a romance littered with unsexy sex scenes wouldn’t be the best idea, but I think to show some realism, not necessarily in every book, but when the story calls for it, even if it doesn’t cast one of the characters in a “perfect” light can be very powerful, especially if off the charts sex is the reward
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Thank you everyone for the great comments.
I meant to post here last night, but got side tracked. I agree with all the comments – a little un-perfect sex makes the story better, more realistic. How many of us have perfect sex in real life – all the time?
It’s great when it’s incorporated in the story, you can tell they’re feeling something other than just the sex and that it might be time to make some changes.
I think perfect sex in real life is the goal… We have to keep practicing… maybe some day we’ll get there.
LOL
Valerie