Ah, February… the month when our hearts and minds are turned to love. If the frilly decorations and heart-shaped boxes of candy won’t do it, then the myriad of romantic films and songs just might.
But despite the candy hearts and chocolate confections; all the shades of pink and flounces of lace, I have a confession to make. Are you ready? … I don’t like Valentine’s Day. As a matter of fact, I dislike it intensely.
Now my children will tell you I am not a romantic person. They sometimes laugh out loud that I write about romance. But their assumption isn’t entirely true.
I like to think of myself as a romantic realist. I do believe in love. I do believe in romance. But I know a lot of what I write about is pure fiction and I wouldn’t expect it any other way. Honestly, if my husband were to say some of the things my heroes say to their heroines, I’d likely laugh in his face. It’s fantasy. It sounds good on paper, but in real life it would seem overblown. Odd. Out of place.
What do I find romantic? Chilvalry. Kindness. Loyalty. Thoughtfulness.
I like it when my husband opens doors for me. No, I don’t need him to do so, but it’s nice to be taken care of from time to time.
I like it when he’s extra nice to me or tries to make me laugh because he knows I’ve had a bad day.
I also think it’s romantic that he has eyes only for me, even after so many years together… and when he brings me little gifts, anytime ‘just because’.
To me, those things are romantic. Being forced, by a calendar, to buy me a gift and card isn’t necessarily so. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll pass up the chocolate. 
Well! I’m shocked!
I love Valentines day. I love the history behind it. Do you know about St Valentine? How he married people when the law said no one could get married b/c it was war time and how when he was imprisoned for it childeren would tie flowers together from his garden and throw them over the prison walls to him with little notes? Or when he fell in love with the warden’s daughter he would write her love letters signed your Valentine ~ sigh ~ ?
He lost his head, literally, for love. He gave his life b/c he believed in love. That’s not fiction. That’s history. It’s tragic and gallant and romantic and I love that there is a whole day set aside in his memory to appreciate and embrace our beloved.
Give me flowers! Give me love letters as sappy as can be! Give me candel lit dinners and moonlit walks! Give me a man willing to sacrifice all for love! I’ll take it all and beg for more!
Hi, Lainey!
Yes, I know about the history behind it — any romance writer worth her salt would.
I suppose I don’t find it romantic that he lost his head, literally. LOL! It’s rather gruesome, truth be told. But I do agree the rest of the legend is romantic.
My main problem with Valentine’s Day stems from my early years — being an unpopular child in school and the last on anyone’s list to receive those quaint little cards. Then years later, every V-day seemed to find me alone and feeling sorry for myself. So… it became one of my most-dreaded holidays.
But, I do love getting flowers… love letters… or having candelight dinners and moonlit walks. I simply prefer they be spontaneous outpourings of affection — not dictated by the calendar.
Then again… I’ll take romance and affection whenever I can get it. (GGGG)
How come we need a special day where we force our men to buy us chocolate, flowers and mushy cards? Why can’t they just do that any old day? That’s more romantic than the enforced Valentine’s Day “gallantry.” I’d rather get flowers (yeah, right, that only happens when he needs to apologize, and only if it’s a BIG apology), little presents or chocolate as a surprise, when I’m not expecting them.
My 2 cents worth.
I’ll admit I rarely get flowers… except on those other ‘calendar days’ such as an anniversary. But again, those non-special days are, to me, still more special.
And Laura, good thing he knows when a BIG apology is needed. Some men can’t even figure that out.