Samhain Publishing

When I was six, my family lived in Australia for a time. I quickly discovered that the word bloody was considered a very bad word by all my Aussie friends. If they were caught saying it, they might well get their mouths washed out with soap.

I, on the other hand, could say the word with impunity. And I did at every opportunity. But as for the substantial number of words my parents considered mouth-washing eligible, those I didn’t use until well into adulthood.

This experience showed me that response to specific words is mostly a matter of social conditioning. Which means all of society has had a role in creating the present pervasive use of one particular word to express everything from outrage and anger to surprise and indifference. The word has become so ubiquitous, although it’s still bleeped in the U.S. by the FCC, it has lost most of its shock value, even for those of us raised to consider it shocking.

Overuse has not removed all of its power, however. It still retains enough to contribute, in my opinion, to an erosion of civility and the elevation of vulgarity. It is, most definitely, not a romantic word. So as a writer of romantic fiction, it is a word I use only when that specificity is absolutely essential to my story.

How do you feel about it? As a reader, what is your reaction to “the word” coming from the mouth of the hero or heroine.
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After years in academia, teaching and directing clinical chemistry laboratories, I took a turn down another road and began writing fiction. My first novel, Dreams for Stones was published by Samhain on Christmas Day 2007. The sequel, Persistence of Dreams followed in 2009. Visit me at www.AnnWarner.net.

Where short story free reads are available:

OZ- Glenda Lewelling has just been introduced to Geoff Flemington, one of the most appealing men she's ever met. The only problem? Glenda lives in Chicago, and in two days, Geoff will be on his way home to Australia.

COLOSSUS COMMUNICATION - A perfect marriage, a yellow rose, and a gorilla.

Have you ever wondered why we say a pride of lions or a gaggle of geese?

The answer is they likely had their origin in a word game, named Venery, that was in vogue several hundred years ago.

The rules are simple. First someone suggests a group name (like geese or lions), and then everyone tries to come up with a descriptive noun to form an unexpected word picture.

Here are some I came up with:

A GALA OF DAHLIAS

A BROUHAHA OF BEARS

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What’s so sexy about stubble?

It used to be a man with stubble received the instant label of bum. Now he’s making big money and staring out at us from book covers, billboards, movie posters, store windows.

But what I want to know is, are these guys really getting any?

Or do women look but definitely don’t touch unless Mr. Sexy shaves first?

If women are kissing these guys, deeply and passionately, they’re doing a terrific job of hiding the aftereffects—red, burning mouths that nobody is going to buy were the result of their McDonald’s coffee being too hot.

So excuse me if I don’t get it. Give me the elegance of a Cary Grant or a Gregory Peck any day. The stubbled ones can just get over themselves. And for Pete’s sake, shave already.
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A former professor and toxicologist, and current old movie buff, Ann Warner, is the author of two contemporary love stories: Dreams for Stones, an Indie Next Generation Book Award Finalist and the sequel, Persistence of Dreams a 4-star Romantic Times pick. Visit Ann’s Website

Swans mate for life, but by nature, humans are more like the fickle hummingbird. Or are they? Is man truly less committed to relationship than a swan?

Evidence for fickleness abounds of course – societal acceptance of casual sex, increasing numbers of out of wedlock pregnancies, high divorce and STD rates. On the other hand, there are those who stay with an abusive partner or one who will never provide them with the loving support they deserve. Why can’t/don’t they pull away?

Blame it on dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin.
uncertain about the process in swans, but in humans, dopamine, a brain chemical, provides the reward that makes activities such as smoking, passing an exam, eating, or sex pleasurable. However, dopamine doesn’t discriminate between actions that are potentially harmful to the organism versus those that are good for it.

Oxytocin and vasopressin are the female and male “bonding” hormones released during intimate contact. They are biology’s strategy for continuing the species, but they put our hearts at risk, even in casual encounters. The connections they produce are what makes it difficult to end an intimate relationship without emotional pain. Even a relationship that is abusive. Avoiding intimacies (kissing, touching, sex) is the best way to prevent such bonding.

If oxytocin and vasopressin are this powerful, then why do some people seem unable to bond at all?

With multiple partners, the main sexual experience becomes the dopamine rush with a reduced or absent oxytocin or vasopressin effect. Literally, a person can get “hooked” on sex without commitment.

While for some this information may be a validation of gut feelings—consider Barbara Meyers blog about bad boys versus reliable men—for others, the discovery that brain chemicals and hormones released during sexual contact have long-term effects on emotions may be more revelatory.

At the very least, such information has the potential to help us better understand why we feel the way we do about an intimate partner, as well as suggest ways of dealing with those feelings (if that becomes necessary). This information may also assist parents trying to help their children navigate a safe passage through our highly sexualized society.

To anyone interested in reading more, I highly recommend HOOKED: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr. and Freda McKissic Bush

Bottom line, what science is now telling us is that the best way to pursue happiness and well-being in a relationship might well be to more closely emulate the swan.
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A former professor and toxicologist, Ann Warner, is the author of two contemporary love stories: Dreams for Stones, an Indie Next Generation Book Award Finalist and the sequel, Persistence of Dreams a 4-star Romantic Times pick. Visit Ann’s Website

In spring, some dread the autumn.

Others are already in a winter frame of mind

So why is that? Why is negativity such an easy no-brainer slide, while being positive seems to take a major conscious effort? And if you don’t believe that, just consider how often you make a point to tell others about good service versus how many you tell about bad service.

I’ll bet the good news was spread to a handful while the bad news was disseminated to a cast of thousands.

Or how about this. Do you remember the time someone on an airplane got up and, with a smile, helped you lift your bag into the overhead bin? Or do you remember the gentleman who waited until you’d hefted your bag into the bin, then told you with a snarl to remove it because you had shifted his bag six inches forward, something he considered a totally unacceptable situation.

Or how about coming home from work, buoyed by kudos, to be criticized for something minor. Which event ultimately shapes how you feel at the end of that day?

It seems to be the way we’re made…with our negative focus more fully developed than our positive one, although we may not be aware of it. I know I wasn’t. Not really. Not until I came across a book about negativity a few years ago.

I had read books about the power of positive thinking, but they did little for me, except to make me feel guilty that I couldn’t seem to shake being a glass-half-empty kind of person.

For me, the turning point was being brought face to face with the power of my negative thinking. It made me aware that, indeed, I have let one negative comment outweigh a whole raft of positive ones, and that many of my most vivid memories are of people criticizing me…including the gentleman with the luggage bin issues. Some of these memories even go all the way back to childhood, a considerable distance given that I’ve been eligible for AARP status for over a decade.

Once my eyes were opened to how I was reacting to the events in my life, I began to learn through that awareness to shift my focus away from the negative and to celebrate more fully the positive.

In fact, if I had never read that book on negativity, and I was still allowing criticism to weigh on me as heavily as it used to, it’s likely I would never have become a published author. With my old mindset, I would have been unable to appreciate and act upon the constructive criticism that has been part of my journey as a writer.

But becoming aware of my tendency to negativity and learning to shift my focus didn’t just improve my writing.

It improved my life.

How about you?

Are you a glass half-empty or glass half-full type of person?

If negativity is currently your strong suit, do you have any plans to try to change that?

A former professor and toxicologist, Ann Warner, is the author of two contemporary love stories: Dreams for Stones, an Indie Next Generation Book Award Finalist and the sequel, Persistence of Dreams a 4-star Romantic Times pick. Visit Ann at http://www.annwarner.net