Samhain Publishing

I recently began work on a project unrelated to publishing that required some research on the older woman/younger man relationship craze (also, older woman/younger woman lesbian relationships). With the popularity of the newer show Cougar Town, I assumed I’d find nothing but positive data. However, as is the case with a lot of things that go against society’s general grain, I found a fair amount of the ick factor.

Some liken a “cougar” (i.e., older woman) dating a younger man (or woman) to pedophilia even if the man is in his thirties. Others view, say for example, a 48 year-old woman involved with a 27 year-old young hunk, with indifference or mild aversion—that is to say, they’d never be caught dead with a man even one day their junior, but they find nothing wrong with others enjoying this sort of relationship. There also seemed to be many other factors swaying the varying opinions, such as, whether or not they had children in the YM’s age group, and if so, what the ages of their children were in comparison to the various examples of OW/YM relationships flaunted in the media, prior experiences with family or friends in this sort of situation, and their own familiarity with bad/good relationships with older/younger people whether they’d been romantically involved or not.

Over the years, I’ve known a few women who’ve dated and/or married younger men. In all situations, I can unequivocally say they seemed far happier than when they were involved with older men, and they had this indefinable glow of youth and confidence about them that wasn’t there before meeting Mr. Cub (“cub” being a term often attributed to the younger man dating a cougar).

In the Hollywood scene, these couples come to mind: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, and Diane Lane and Josh Brolin (although only a three-year difference there), to name a few. Then there are the many movies, The Graduate being one of the most obvious classics. Books, especially erotic romances, utilizing this niche theme are on the rise, as well.

So, in the name of my ongoing research (grin), I would love to hear your thoughts on the OW/YM relationship in general. (All names will be kept anonymous.) Is it an ick factor for you, or do you embrace cougars gone wild? What’s your experience or knowledge in that arena? In your opinion, what’s the acceptable range of age differences? What other prominent OW/YM relationships can you think of in the media? And of course, what movies and books do you recommend that fall into the cougar/cub category?

By the way, Happy Spring, everyone!

Titania Ladley is a multi-published erotic romance author. Her latest Samhain release, KABANA HEAT, is a contemporary ménage set in Hawaii. Don’t miss this HOT love story! Please visit her at http://www.titanialadley.com/ for more.

I’m not one to spout my political, religious, or personal beliefs in public, so it’s with much tiptoeing that I write this. But I recently heard a report about schools banning Christmas parties and songs in classrooms. It distressed me. And it sent me back to my grade-school days of fond memories I’d almost forgotten…

Without going into details, let me just say life in my childhood home was…challenging. Often, the classroom was my haven, most especially when the holidays approached. I recall autumn giving way to the biting winds of winter, donning my galoshes and hiking more than a block in heavy snow to catch the school bus. The bus was warm and welcoming, but it soon dropped me off at the school’s door. I can still remember the gleaming hallways, the bleachy smell of freshly mopped floors, and the scent of books and bright splashes of construction paper on the bulletin boards as I entered my cozy second-grade classroom.

Anticipation swirled in my belly. I knew it was that time. In fact, I could feel it in the air. My teacher had decorated the classroom—a tree in the corner strung with those big fat colorful lights and tinsel, holly outlining the chalkboard and carols playing softly from a phonograph in the back of the room. And most exciting of all, room mothers were arriving for our holiday party toting bags and containers full of surprises.

We were allowed—no, expected—to heave a sigh and set aside our studies. We constructed paper Santas with glued-on cotton for the beards. As snow fell outside the windows, we got out our Crayolas and colored paper candy canes, strung popcorn, and watched out of the corner of our eager eyes as the room mothers started to pass out cupcakes decorated with green icing and colorful candy, and yummy gingerbreadman-shaped cookies. We played games and won prizes, we exchanged gifts we’d each made ourselves, and I waited with held breath for my teacher to open the gift I had brought her—a 25-cent gaudy brooch shaped like a Christmas tree and decorated with colorful fake gems.

I wonder how my grade-school memories would differ if holiday parties had been banned? It saddens me, it really does, to try to imagine it in that It’s a Wonderful Life sort of way. With such warmhearted, nostalgic, school-based memories that had no religious or political foundation (at least not from my innocent perspective as a child), it depresses me to think that children in today’s world could be deprived of similar school memories.

Don’t get me wrong, I do understand and respect that there are many diverse religions and views, and that “Christmas,” a tree, Santa, gift-giving and carols are Christian-based. Therefore to avoid focusing on one religion in schools, why not just allow “winter-themed” parties and songs to be sung? The exciting build-up to winter break in schools could include such songs as Jingle Bells. ”Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.” And then there’s Let It Snow. “The weather outside is frightful, but inside it’s so delightful. Since we’ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!” Or how about Frosty the Snowman, or even Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, just a funny little winter song that could bring smiles to children of all ages, sizes, races and religions without the controversy?

A Winter party. In school. What’s the harm? A celebration of the literal season of snow and cold and cozy family fires. Sled riding, hot cocoa and marshmallows, fuzzy mittens, snowball fights, a steaming pot of soup on the stove, old-fashioned horse-drawn sleighs and quant little towns alight and bustling with activity.

Really, why not?

Anyway, I’ve also heard rumors of schools disallowing Halloween parties. I could go into my fond, ghostly school memories there too, but maybe I’ll save that for another day. But really, what’s next? Banning Valentine’s Day from kids’ classrooms? This would be akin to shunning love, that age-old sentimental emotion that drives us all, that our books are all based on. That transcends religion and politics and nations’ traditions.

Okay, off my soapbox. So, can you think of any other winter songs that are religion-free that could be approved for a grade-school Winter Party? And what do you think? Should schools be party poopers and ban these sorts of celebrations from classrooms altogether, even if we do lose the religion and generalize things?

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Titania Ladley is a multi-published erotic romance author. Her newest Samhain release, KABANA HEAT, is a contemporary ménage set in Hawaii. Don’t miss this HOT love story! Please visit her at http://www.titanialadley.com/ for more.

Kabana Heat, my smokin’ contemporary Hawaiian ménage, is now available in print format. Don’t miss holding…um, a “hard” copy in your hot little hands. Curl up, inhale that yummy new-book scent, and devour every naughty word inside. Then be prepared to, uh-hem, ambush your significant other. (cackles) Preorder at Amazon today! Official availability at Samhain is June 30, 2009. For tempting excerpts, click here, here, or join my newsletter.

Here’s what Mrs. Giggles had to say about Kabana Heat:

90/100 & A Keeper! “…plenty of unapologetic, unabashed, and very naughty scenes that have me wishing that someone would spray a fire extinguisher all over me… [a] most charming naughty romp.”

Follow the links above for some mouthwatering snippets, and check out the blurb by clicking “Read More”…

KABANA HEAT by Titania Ladley
Now available in print! (Also in ebook format.)

Three gorgeous people…three depraved plans…one inferno of scandalous pleasures. Look out! Kabana’s heating up!

Movie star Mitch Wulfrum is tired of deflecting the gay rumors buzzing around him. It’s time for drastic measures to suppress them once and for all—even if it means marriage in name only to the first trophy wife he can get his hands on. And beautiful sugar cane princess Kiona ‘Alohi fits right into his plan.

Kiona can’t believe her luck when she’s presented with Mitch’s proposition. Her overbearing father is dangling her trust fund over her head as an enticement to dump her oh-so-sexy, but oh-so-unsuitable lover, Nakolo. A bogus marriage to Mitch will net her everything she wants—money and love, even if she can only have Kol on the sly.

What she doesn’t expect are the sexual sparks that fly between her and Mitch, or, when Kol catches them together, the heat that flares between the two men. One scandalously pleasurable encounter after another fans the flames of attraction, until they begin to dream that all three of them could have everything they ever wanted—and more than they ever expected.

An intricate, fragile web of lies and deceit are all that keep their wanton secrets from erupting into the public eye. Trouble is, one scheming photographer has already clicked the shutter that could ruin all their lives.

Warning: This m/m/f and m/f/m ménage erotic romance contains the following: creative oral car sex, arousing any-and-all-combination threesome activities, beach explosions, naughty nekkid water romps, love up the wazoo, and lots of intertwined, slick body parts. May cause quaking of the earth, spewing of volcanoes, profuse sweating, tachycardia, and stormy, raging hormones. You have been warned. Proceed with lusty vigor.

Sidenote: I’m currently writing the sequel to Kabana Heat (Anjelee and Jager’s story), so stay tuned!

P.S. Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there!

By the time this blog posts, I’ll literally be on a tropical beach sipping margaritas. (* ducks from rotten tomatoes *) But see, I got this vacation at a deep discount or I wouldn’t be there. Even though we booked the trip well before the economic blow-up, periods of a better economy never have caused me to be less frugal—I’m always on the lookout for a deal, if not out of necessity, then at least out of want for a good challenge. * grin *

Anyway, here’s how it went. With hubby’s job requiring extensive travel, he enrolled in every airline frequent-flyer, hotel and credit-card-points program imaginable. He’s flying, staying in hotels and swiping his cards for business anyway, so why not rack up some benefits? And it only takes a moment to whip out those rewards membership cards and enter your number to receive credit. Then just stand back and watch the points compound like bank interest and later translate into free hotel stays, free airline tickets, or even an iPod or e-reader.

So get thy patooties out there and enroll in every frequent-whatever program you can find!

But don’t stop there. Shop travel agencies too. True, travel agents tack on fees, but the discount agreements they negotiate with various resorts and airlines generally translate into lower costs for you. So even with their fee factored in, you’ll most likely get hundreds of dollars shaved off your bill overall just by booking through them instead of directly with the resort and/or airline.

Oh, and don’t forget all the other ways to save. I remember years ago when my kiddos were young’ns we lived in an area where all the grocery stores were always having triple-coupon wars. Now I’ll admit I’m more lazy about it in my old age, but back then I’d sit for hours clipping and planning coupons and comparing them with the weekly circulars. (I once had a bill of $200 but only paid about $50 after the coupons were deducted.) And remember to check the back of your phonebook too. Most have a local coupon section. Nothing makes me groan in regret more than flipping through in search of a phone number and noticing a coupon for an establishment I recently spent money at.

Then there’re the restaurant daily specials to watch for. For example, my local pub advertises burgers for $1 every Monday. Toss in a baked potato or fries for another dollar and then just drink water, and you have a $2 meal. Wow, you can’t even buy a bag of salad at the market for that!

Be sure and use those haircut punch-cards too. My husband and son get cuts about once a month or so. If we remember to get that card punched each time, we’ve saved $20 after 10 cuts. I don’t know about you, but I’ll take it!

For movie entertainment, we have a Netflix membership. Now IMO, this is a pretty nifty deal because for one, movies depart from and arrive in my mailbox. Lazy as I am, that’s well worth it considering we don’t have to leave home to go get or return them (saves gas, too), and we pay only $14 a month for an average of about eight to 10 movies. We’ve been known to spend that in one night at our local video store, so Netflix makes for much cheaper home entertainment if you’re movie junkies like us.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to all your favorite author and publisher e-newsletters. Many authors have contests, freebies, and free reads on their websites or through their newsletters, and a lot of publishers are offering free reads or having sales and discount specials where you can finally purchase that book you’ve been eyeing. Then you’ll have enough left over to also try a new author or two. wink

So please don’t hate me because I’m a beach bum. Instead, feel the penny-wise love and share your clever ideas. What sort of strategies do you use in your everyday life to stretch out the buck?

Cheers!

Titania (sipping a free margarita)
http:www.TitaniaLadley.com

Angst happens. It happens to us all. I’ve had my share of it lately, and I’ve read various comments across the web recently where it seems the levels are reaching all-time highs for a lot of us. From the panic of the economy, to the never-ending cold or unusual weather worldwide, to heartbreaking tragedies and painful personal issues, it can seem at times that the sun won’t ever shine again like it used to in our brighter days.

So I thought I’d devote my slot on the Samhain blog today looking for ways to uplift and inspire. Even if my efforts boost just one person out there, that’s a start.

I’d like to begin with a little torn and tattered book that was given to my family years ago when hubby and I were just starting out on our journey as a poor, young, newly married couple with sickly preemie infant twins. It’s called As A Man Thinketh by James Allen, not a religious book but one of inspiration, encouragement, and thought-provoking words of wisdom. I reread it recently, as I have periodically in the past when times were tough, and thanked the stars that I’d kept it and not included it in a moment of insanity a few years back when I’d gotten rid of some of my precious books.

So anyway…

I opened this book and sobbed uncontrollably when I found the scribblings of my children (all now mostly grown), strewn randomly from page to page. I don’t recall those scribbles being there the last time I read it, so I was stunned—that must mean I’ve gone for more than a decade without reading it again. Where had the time gone? I wasn’t sure, but I did conclude one very important thing… I was meant to pull that book off my shelf at that point in time. Why? Well, call it coincidence or call it fate, but some of the most profound passages—ones that I needed the most at that very moment—were either underlined or marked in some way by an innocent child’s hand.

wipes away bittersweet tears

The theme of the whole book is summed up in this quote from its first page:

“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts… As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”

Pretty deep, huh?

Once you have that one dissected ( grin ), here’s a bit more food for thought from the book, each their own standalone passages:

“Strong, pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace.”

“A man should conceive of legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts.”

“As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.”

“Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and he who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts himself at every step.”

And finally, when you’ve had time to dig your brain out of the above deepness ( snicker ), try this one:

“Humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.”

So now that your’re scratching your heads and your eyebrows are all smooshed together, here’s something fun for you. To receive free, uplifting daily notes to your inbox from “The Universe” (LMAO, yes, the universe grin ), go to TUT and click on “Notes Signup” at the top of the page. It also has the same philosophy, that is, that thoughts become things, and I find that many times the perfect, much-needed message comes to me at just the right time. For example, a few weeks ago during a particularly angsty time, I got one that said:

“Think back to a happy time in your life, Titania. A really, really happy time. If you can, try to remember the happiest you’ve ever felt. Think of the laughter, the peace, the confidence, the ease of it all. Emotionally, relive a few of those moments. Don’t think of the details (people, places, or circumstances); just think of the way you felt. Good. Very good. We’re just creating some building blocks for tomorrow and the rest of your amazing life. Adios, The Universe”

LOL, hmm, so this here woman thinketh there might be more to the whole picture of this life thing than just coincidence. So what things do you do, or call upon, to lift you up in times of angst?

Titania

Titania Ladley is a multi-published author of hot erotic romances. Please visit her at http://www.TitaniaLadley.com .

With the holidays looming ever closer, I recently made that dreaded trip to Wallyworld (eh, dread is really not a strong enough word to describe it cuz I’m not your typical woman—I despise shopping of any sort) and noticed the parking vultures were soaring in droves. Really, I understand there are lots of reasons for needing a closer spot, so it doesn’t matter to me…well, unless a person’s blocking traffic while waiting for a spot to vacate. ( wink ) But I even get the sport of it—occasionally, my hubby performs the stalk-and-swoop method of parking-spot searching because he’s a competitive kind of guy who vulture-circles to see if he can “win” that closest spot. Heehee

But me, I’m one to pull right into an empty spot way off on the horizon. For one thing, I’m impatient. I want to get in and out of that store ASAP, and to me, wasting time searching for a close spot only delays the pain of the task ahead of me and squanders part of my day. Yeah, I want nothing more than to get the cruelty of shopping over with, so while everyone else is orbiting the lot, I quick-like park, brisk-walk to the door and get in some cardio (need to work off the latte that’s making my heart race anyway), and dodge my way through the obstacle course of all those circling cars. But mostly I’d rather leave the closer spots for people who need it more, like moms with three kids (god, do I ever remember the stress of those days!), or the elderly, or the sick who need to get in and out of the pharmacy as quickly as possible.

Now, once I’m in the store I power-shop, frantically tossing who-knows-what into the cart and racing up and down the aisles like a mouse on crack in a maze. Yep, I’m that annoying gal swerving around your cart when you’re standing there minding your own business calmly studying labels. I’m that shopper that makes you go grrrrr!, the one who illegally darts out in front of you into the main aisle in order to get to the next frigging aisle like yesterday. (LOL, sorry ‘bout that, but I can’t help myself. It’s a sickness.)

Then, when I get to the checkout lanes five long minutes later ( grin ), I take a quick sweep of the checkers to see who’s zipping things across the scanner and who’s moving in slow motion. I take into account how much stuff people in front of me have in their carts, and how long the lines are, then I choose whichever lane I think will Get. Me. The. Hell. Out. Of. That. Madness. Like. Now.

BUT, once I’m back out in the parking lot and sensing relief ahead, nothing makes me grind my teeth and bring my two-ton shopping cart to a screeching halt like passing by an unauthorized person parking in a handicapped spot. I once witnessed—while firing up my evilest of all evil eyes—someone bound out of a car parked in a handicapped spot (no handicapped hangtag) and jog to the door. Meanwhile, an elderly woman (with a handicapped hangtag) shuffled along across the ice clutching a walker after being forced to take a regular spot fifty feet from the door. Yeah, illegal handicapped-parkers are a major pet peeve of mine. Burns me up.

So what are your top shopping pet peeves? Is it the vultures? The prices? Or the crowds? Hopefully it’s not short, blonde speed-shoppers making illegal shopping-cart U-turns and passing you at 90 mph in the dairy aisle. ( Sheepish Grin )

Titania Ladley is a multi-published, best-selling erotic romance author. Her newest Samhain release, KABANA HEAT, is a contemporary ménage set in Hawaii. Don’t miss this HOT love story! Mrs. Giggles on Kabana Heat: 90 and a Keeper, “…most charming naughty romp.” Please visit Titania at http://www.titanialadley.com/ for more.

gasp Naughty you! I don’t mean that kind of swapping. I’m referring to paperback book swapping. I ask because I recently received several emails inquiring if I’d be interested in participating in a used-book trade. Now this isn’t your average little ol’ one- or two-book exchange, I’m talking all-out Wall Street trading! Detailed loooong inventory lists passed back and forth, reaching in all corners of the world where you can pick and choose what books you’d like to swap.

Well, let me catch my breath and explain something before I reveal my decision on this shocking invitation…

Once upon a time, my husband’s company sold out, ripping his job from beneath his feet, and we were forced to move across several states for his new job. At the time, our twins were just beginning their senior year of high school, so my husband was required to move ahead of us for almost a year. I was left behind to pack and sell the house, and with many other stressors factoring in that I won’t go into, let me just say my anxiety level shot through the roof. Over the long, lonely months, I made a dozen trips back and forth between Missouri and Minnesota hauling a small trailer filled with furniture and belongings that I dumped into a crammed storage unit we’d rented.

Once the twins graduated and we were all reunited, we were forced to lease a small apartment temporarily while searching for a home. And I’m really quite embarrassed to admit that, bursting at the seams and still reeling from the year’s stress, I made the irrational decision to…oh God, I can’t even say it! Okay, I confess, I GAVE AWAY HUNDREDS OF MY BOOKS!

sobs uncontrollably OMG, I miss my books!

So fast-forward to today. I sat and stared at these swap invites for a long while before shifting my gaze to the crowded, sagging, restocked shelves in my office. Pack up my babies and send them off to a stranger’s house? Sure, I have no problem lending a stack of books to a neighbor or friend, or even letting my daughter take an entire series off to college (which she’d better bring back or else!), but packing up boxes of books and sending them across the country to possibly never see them again?

Uh-uh.

Nope, I’m sorry, but I just can’t subscribe to this madness once again. I would totally miss my books, even if other temporaries were sent in their place to ease the sting. Call it a sickness, but I get way too attached to my library. For instance, I have books all over my office, in the spare bedroom, in the family room, stacked by my bed, and I even talked hubby into building me shelves in the basement storage area. Ah, and this doesn’t even include all the e-books loaded on my hard drive.

Okay, time for me to go. I think I’m going to barf just remembering that day of insanity when I abandoned all those books. sniffle So what about you? Do you swap, or do you practice monogamy with your books relationship?

Titania Ladley is a multi-published, best-selling erotic romance author. Her newest Samhain release, KABANA HEAT, is a contemporary ménage set in Hawaii. Don’t miss this HOT love story! Please visit her at link for more.